if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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