Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
