You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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