It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
