god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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