it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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