Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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