Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
