I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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