3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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