Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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