Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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