and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
