Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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