my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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