I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
