dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
