We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The adults are the big ones right?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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