can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
