my soul wont recognize me after tonight
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
