So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
