it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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