can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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