I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
