If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
