OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
