i just made my gag reflex go away.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
