just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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