that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
