If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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