Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
