I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
