So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
