I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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