My first STD was from a foam party
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
