I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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