the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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