I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
