Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
