threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
