Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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