Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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