The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
