i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
