I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
