It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
