So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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