the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
