then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
