I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
