I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
bring money and cleavage
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
