i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i think i just lost a toe
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
