I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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