All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
