Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
