wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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