Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
