She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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