I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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