i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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