Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
