She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
